Often I've been asked to describe myself with a single word, a task which is considerably more difficult than it appears on the surface. After years of deep thought and research — along with my propensity to flip through a dictionary long after I have found what I was looking for — I stumbled across the word which 9 out of my 10 therapists will attest best describes me.

phantasmagorical (fan-taz´ma-gôr-ik-l), adj.,
1. a rapidly shifting complex succession of things seen or imagined.  2. a bizarre or fantastic combination, collection, or assemblage.

So buckle your seatbelts, make sure your tray-tables are in an upright and locked position, and prepare yourself (mentally) for wondering why the hell you came here to begin with.